Lenore: Topic is practicing courage.
Lenore: So it was.
Lenore: I didn't know this, but so I was. I was pleased to hear in Stephen's talk this morning. That courage is is one of the translations
Lenore: actually of today's word.
Lenore: I think,
Lenore: the reason II wanted to focus on this topic is, I think it's obviously really relevant
Lenore: to engaging in a world in crisis.
Lenore: But personally, I also find that.
Lenore: Do you need something, Guy.
touching what can talk on sexist.
It's
Lenore: okay.
Lenore: so we're talking about practicing courage.
Lenore: So it's not just irrelevant.
Lenore: I think of it as a character strength.
Lenore: It's also I find it really moving when I see it. when I observe it in other people. And I think the reason is because I know it's really hard.
Lenore: It can be really hard to practice courage.
Lenore: I actually work with this a lot. I try to practice it a lot.
Lenore: I think of courage as the willingness to act in line with my values. in the presence of fear or pain.
Lenore: so it makes sense that the situation itself may or may not demand courage of of me as a person depending on
Lenore: whether I find that fearful or not.
Lenore: But it is a response. It's not a
Lenore: it's not a personality trait.
Lenore: It's I mean, I anticipate there might be a little bit of personality influence there. I'm thinking about the personality variable.
thank you.
Lenore: Poetically called neuroticism. Which is just, you know your anxiousness.
Lenore: general level of anxiousness. It's a sort of psychophysiological setting. Might impact it. But at the end of the day
Lenore: courage is a practice. It's a response to the world, a so response to the situation. It's not an endowment. It's not something we either have or we haven't.
Lenore: Oh, you're just courageous.
Lenore: Now I practice courage.
Lenore: It's also really dumbic, because
Lenore: it involves us
Lenore: often voluntarily
Lenore: walking into a situation that might, in fact, increase
Lenore: our level of anxiety, it might actually increase the unpleasantness I'm feeling in the moment.
Lenore: So it, you know, if if we think of the dummere as
Lenore: you know, we're we're practicing being with the unpleasant.
Lenore: allowing it.
Lenore: Then you know this. This is more than that. It's actually, in some cases choosing it.
Lenore: which is why it's hard. and I also see it as an act of love. especially if we're practicing courage
Lenore: for the betterment of
Lenore: someone.
Lenore: whether that's ourselves or or other beings.
Lenore: So it's the reason I see it as an act of love is, you know, we're voluntarily experiencing unpleasantness for the benefit of a bank. whether that's ourselves
Lenore: or another.
Lenore: So I find it really moving when I when I see it.
Lenore: I don't know if any of you have come across the book called it was turned into a movie as well. The movie is called Peaceful Warrior. and it was about a guy, young American
Lenore: university student, who was a very talented gymnast.
Lenore: and he has an accident which knocks him on his bum, you know, both
Lenore: literally and emotionally.
Lenore: and he comes across this character, this kind of enigmatic
Lenore: character who runs the local servo service station. and
Lenore: this guy. He's quite dharmic in his views.
Lenore: and he becomes a bit of a mentor and a guide for this young man, and and and
Lenore: has a bit of a transformational impact on him.
Lenore: and that that term peaceful warrior kind of stuck with me. And
Lenore: in a way, I think we, as dumber practitioners.
Lenore: wanting to ethically engage with the world in crisis. We need to be
Lenore: peaceful warriors.
Lenore: Because we're swimming against the stream
Lenore: of reactivity. both our own and others. and
Lenore: it takes courage to take our dumber practice out into the world.
Lenore: out out of our, you know. Nice little meditation room, if we have one.
Lenore: you know where we brush up against
Lenore: our own proclivities and for for reactivity brush up against the world and everybody else's.
Lenore: They can be challenging.
Lenore: So it takes courage to do this, to try and engaged in a way where we're
Lenore: accepting the situation as it is and responding rather than resisting and reacting.
Lenore: One of my little kind of guide posts, except in respond, don't resist. And react
Lenore: now.
Lenore: something I've learned as I've gotten older. II never used to do this is that
Lenore: sometimes not responding to a situation is okay. Sometimes that's wise.
Lenore: If it's a mindful decision
Lenore: that that's the most skillful course of action. In the moment
Lenore: I was pleased to hear where the
Lenore: act like a piece of wood act like a block of wood is something that I use quite often in a practical way.
Lenore: If if I'm
Lenore: if I don't feel like I can access any more skillful response. Then my my kind of fallback position is act like a block of wood
Lenore: man with a block of wood dude? Nothing.
Lenore: so I have changed. You know myself sometimes. I don't
Lenore: respond at all these days. If if I think that's the most most skillful thing I can do in the moment.
Lenore: but sometimes not responding is a version
Lenore: 2.
Lenore: It's an aversion, aversive reaction that's dressed up as
Lenore: a virtue of, you know non-confrontation or peacefulness
Lenore: rather than it being a values-based response in the presence of fear or pain.
Lenore: I want to continue a story. I started telling you a couple of days ago I mentioned the kitchen table discussions, and how I didn't get involved because of the uncertainty about it.
Lenore: Well. and and how that ended up being a
Lenore: a candidate for the Federal election in May last year. Here.
Lenore: and A friend of mine ended up being involved with this, and so she told me about it, and and encouraged me to get involved.
Lenore: and at first I
Lenore: I was hesitant. I remember when Barack Obama was first elected into office, and I remember hearing about
Lenore: how part of the reason part of part of how he achieved that was through these incredible grassroots! Campaigns where, you know, people were out in the suburbs door knocking
Lenore: for for a political candidate in an election. And I remember thinking.
Lenore: Wow, people do that
people
Lenore: actually go and knock on doors to talk to people about
Lenore: politics.
Lenore: I couldn't believe it, and the idea of me doing it was I had a very aversive reaction to that.
Lenore: You know, imagining myself knocking on doors and and inviting people to some kind of conversation about politics. It was just a very, very aversive
Lenore: reaction to that.
Lenore: But so when my friend
Lenore: suggest that I come and and and join in the volunteer army it, it took courage
Lenore: for me, because, as I say, I felt really uncomfortable about it. I could never dream. In a million years I would be involved in a political campaign.
Lenore: but I did. and at first, so there were all sorts of things. As part of this campaign. There was door knocking. Obviously there were letterbox drops. There were hanging around supermarket doors, handing out flyers.
Lenore: There were banner waving things. You'd pick a you know, high traffic spot in Peak hour, and we'd have all these banners, and you know we'd have music on. And you know you're generally having a good time waving the banners, just trying to raise awareness about
Lenore: the fact that we had this candidate. And remember, this is the
Lenore: safe Liberal seat. So we were trying to unseat
Lenore: the party that had been in power forever.
Lenore: So, anyway, I started with letterbox drops on my little electric scooter. That was not too bad, quite enjoyed that seeing some bits of the neighborhood that I'd never seen before.
Lenore: And oh, we did coffees, you know we all stand around in. I wore this as a prop.
Lenore: This was our candidate, Sophie scomps.
Lenore: So we'd all wear these blue T-shirts, and we'd meet on the corner down at the beachfront high traffic area, you know, lots of people walking by, and we'd just have coffee together.
Lenore: And you know some people would come up and ask about it. And what have you? And
Lenore: but the door knocking was the one that I really, as I say, I really had some aversion to.
Lenore: but they had this app, and they had all the tasks. And and yeah, what they needed volunteers for when and the messages were coming quite frequently, that, you know, we've got a door knock in this region on Saturday. We really need more volunteers. We really need more volunteers.
Lenore: and
Lenore: I would see the little messages coming up from other people who'd already jumped in and started doing it.
Lenore: and
Lenore: there were things like, Oh, look! I can't make that time, but I've got an hour between dropping off the kids at this time, and when I've got to go, you know. Pick up this or whatever, and so does anyone want to come? Do an hour's door knocking with me, and you know someone. Yep, I'll do that with you. So I was just witnessing
Lenore: this courage by all these other people
Lenore: who were just jumping in and doing it. and
Lenore: the demographic of the group. So there were, I think, there were, over 1,200 volunteers in the end.
Lenore: and the demographic of the group is probably not dissimilar to our retreat here.
Lenore: So it was. There were a lot of silver tops.
Lenore: and not a whole lot of people under the age of
Lenore: 25
Lenore: which, whenever I hear Greta Thunberg talking about generational things, I think, hang on a second. the oldies in my electorate very responsible and very active.
Lenore: So
Lenore: these these people inspired me. They inspired me to think Well, if they can get out there and do it, so can I.
Lenore: So
Lenore: for me this was an example of why courage is important. Why this willingness to walk into our fear. holding firmly to our values of non harm, or kindness, or
Lenore: protection, or you know, whatever it might be, whatever version of non harm to kindness it might be.
Lenore: holding tight to those values, and walk willingly, walk into
Lenore: that unpleasant feeling of fear.
Lenore: One of the there was a book called Feel Affair and Do it anyway. You know that that that kind of thing
Lenore: and I want to suggest that it's important for 3 reasons. And funny enough.
Lenore: I mean, there's obviously the direct impact. So we won. We were one of the first electorates called on election night.
Lenore: and
Lenore: it wasn't just a small victory. We absolutely landslid it.
Lenore: So we now have our own independent candidate who is
Lenore: speaking up for climate change, speaking up for politics, integrity in politics. That was another thing, she ran on. So some of these things that we just did you know we were just not being listened to at all.
Lenore: So there's the direct impact of our actions.
Lenore: Obviously. So I mean, you're not always gonna win. You're not always gonna
Lenore: have the impact you want. But you might.
Lenore: The second reason I think it's really important to practice courage is the ripple effects.
Lenore: So those those oldies out there doing just getting on with it. They inspired me.
Lenore: I thought, if they can do it, I can do it.
Lenore: And it's funny, you know, because, as I said at the beginning, what requires courage, what actually scares us is really different. Depending on who you are.
Lenore: You know, I've conquered the fear of of lining up on the start line in in a 400 metre hurdle final at world championship. Athletics, meets.
Lenore: you know, being live streamed all around the world, you know 10,000 people watching
Lenore: I've developed that kind of courage, and I don't have done enough now that I? I don't get anywhere near as
Lenore: scared as I used to, and yet there I was really afraid of going and knocking on doors in a political campaign.
Lenore: So it just depends what it is that
Lenore: that you find uncomfortable. That is what is going to require courage.
Lenore: So the ripple effects. And I think couple of people have touched on that already. The the
Lenore: you know, the person who who planted the trees in the local area, and then others are starting to, or the garden, I think Des was telling us, and then now other people are wanting to know how to do it too.
Lenore: So
Lenore: we inspire other people by by practicing courage as well.
Lenore: And then the third reason I think it's really important to
Lenore: practice courage is that.
Lenore: as I said, it's not. Courage is not an endowment, it's something we practice. It's a response that we practice. And so
Lenore: by practicing courage we become more courageous.
Lenore: and we become more likely
Lenore: to practice our courage again.
Lenore: I had an interesting example of this not too long ago.
Lenore: A few months ago. I was having to do my training at a synthetic soccer field because our track was being resurfaced. and it was on a weekend. And it's this big soccer field. There are 3
Lenore: 3 soccer fields, and then a whole bunch of space around them, and so
Lenore: doing. Sprinting. You kind of need. An even surface, so synthetic. Soccer fields are kind of my plan. B. If I can't go to the track.
Lenore: So I'm doing my running my runs sort of around the edge of these soccer fields, and there are games going on in their men's games and
Lenore: So I've I've done a run, and this game in the field next to me is has wrapped up, and so the team that won, and they've got their arms around each other, and they're singing their Victory song.
Lenore: And I'm walking back and just sort of noticing what's going on. And then I start tuning into the words of their Victory song.
Lenore: And it's the typical stuff about who you know how great we are, and you know you'll be defeated, you girly, girly girlie boys.
Lenore: and I'm thinking what
Lenore: and this was in the middle of the Women's World Cup as well. By the way, so this was soccer was men's soccer, and I was singing an insult to their opposition team about being girly, girlie, girlie boys. And I just thought.
Lenore: this is not okay
Lenore: and
Lenore: And I walked back to where I left my stuff, and I'm looking at, and by this time I've
Lenore: gathered over on the side of the field and finish the game. and, I'm thinking.
have to say something to these men.
Lenore: and then so I imagined going over and saying something. And immediately fear came up in his like
Lenore: 20
Lenore: adrenaline field. Sweaty blokes, you know. You just want to suck a game on the side of the field.
Lenore: And then I thought to myself. What am I afraid of?
Lenore: What's the worst can happen? They're not going to beat me up.
Lenore: They might insult me. They might put me down. They might belittle me.
Lenore: that'll pass.
Lenore: So I started walking over. and there was a man who was leaving at the time, and II thought I better have a plan, B, in case they
Lenore: they react badly and and they do insult me, and whatever because most sports and clubs, and whenever they have a code of conduct, and I thought, Plan B. If it goes really badly.
Lenore: I'll put in a complaint to the club.
Lenore: So this guy was leaving, and and I just asked him, you know what team was that that just won that game because I thought we need to know what the club is.
Lenore: And he said, Oh, it's Mosman.
Lenore: Wow, okay.
Lenore: anyway. So a win over. and he's like sort of standing around. And I asked the closest man.
Lenore: do you have a team manager here?
Lenore: And he's like, Oh, yeah, that's this guy here in the hat.
Lenore: And so Hi and I said, Hello! Is it done?
Lenore: I was just. I couldn't help hearing your Victory song just now.
Lenore: And I was really curious. I said.
Lenore: you're singing, you girly girlie girlie boys.
Lenore: and I just thought what the
Lenore: and then there was this kind of moment of pause when nobody said anything.
Lenore: and then they erupted in laughter. And I'm thinking what the hell and
Lenore: When the team manager finished laughing, he said, oh, no, our team is curl curl. We're singing with a curly, curly, curly voice.
Lenore: So so we had a good laugh
Lenore: about that, and they decided that maybe they need to think about changing their song
Lenore: Advertising themselves as gaily voice
Lenore: but anyway, so that it turns out, you know, there was. There was actually no harm
Lenore: being done anyway.
Lenore: But I still think I'm really still really glad that I did it. because for 2 reasons, one.
Lenore: if if a loan
Lenore: female is willing to walk up to a bunch of sweaty, adrenaline field men and say, Hey. it's not okay to thing about girly, girlie girlie, boys.
Lenore: that says something about what's acceptable and not acceptable. and how acceptable and not acceptable it is in our culture.
Lenore: you know. I think 50 years ago. Would would a woman have done that? Not so sure. Maybe. But
Lenore: there's something I just thought, you know, I've I've made a statement there a public statement, even though it wasn't
Lenore: what I thought it was.
Lenore: I've made a public statement that you know that wouldn't. That kind of thing is not okay. And then the second reason is that
Lenore: it was a really good training session for my courage muscle.
Lenore: And so I had another situation not long after that. with a coach. I was training at the track. So this was a few months later. Our track was back. We had the track back, and I was doing my sprint hurdles, training.
Lenore: and there was a group there with a sort of experienced coach.
Lenore: and you know I knew them a little bit. and he had music blaring.
Lenore: and it was really loud, and they don't normally do that. But for some reason they had that going this day, and
Lenore: and I thought
Lenore: I was having real trouble concentrating, and especially with spoon hurdles. You've got to concentrate. You cannot be distracted
Lenore: trying to do spin hurdles.
Lenore: So I thought, I'm going to have to ask John to turn it down. So
Lenore: John is the the coach. He's an old bloke. He's probably 6 foot minus 6 foot 2, and he's and he's a grapho bugger.
Lenore: He's, you know, rough as guts. He doesn't care who he offends
Lenore: and
Lenore: And anyway, I thought, well, I have to ask him, because John and he's like what can't hear you tell you how loud it was. And then I walked over, and I said, Oh, would you mind turning it, anyway? That was fine. He turned it down a bit.
Lenore: so I went back and I tried to train him.
Lenore: I'm still finding I can't concentrate, and by this time he's got his whole squad standing around him. So you know, 10
Lenore: athletes. Most of them are in their kind of 20 s.
Lenore: And I'm standing there, and I'm thinking I need to ask you. I really don't want to ask him again so, and I'll try and try and just really concentrate, and I'll be okay.
Lenore: Anyway, I tried again, and I had to abort my run like I just, I couldn't concentrate. And so I'm thinking, either this is going to be complete waste of the session. or I'm going to have to go and ask him again.
Lenore: That's how I thought right. If I can go and confront the Girlie girlie, girlie, boys, I can go and confront John right? So the the actual fact that I did that with the girly boys made me.
Lenore: It gave me courage. It thought, you know, if I can do that, I can do this
Lenore: and and this one was an Id. So the second time around he wasn't as helpful, or he did turn it down. But
Lenore: in the meantime he was
Lenore: kind of insulting to me
Lenore: is just being catty. You turn to me and go. You got real problems, you have. And I said, Yeah, I know I can't concentrate on my training.
Lenore: he said. No, you got real problems with your hurdle technique. I'm like.
Lenore: Oh.
Lenore: and I acted like a block of wood in this scenario, because I was really not expecting him to say that. And I realized he wasn't being constructive. He was being insulting.
Lenore: So I just I just walked off.
Lenore: But then I got home, and I thought.
Lenore: because the context was, I've been injured for a couple of years, and so I haven't, you know. Been haven't been performing at my best for a while, and so I wasn't exactly brimming with confidence, so to have an experienced
Lenore: hurdles coach come over in the middle of my session, or, you know, say to me, in the middle of my session, you've got problems, your hurdle technique. You have
Lenore: it just. It wasn't helpful.
Lenore: Anyway, I got home, and I did. I did a little self-soothing practice that I have. I call it touching the ground. I get it from the Buddha. You might know the
Lenore: the the story about when
Lenore: Mara was visiting the Buddha
Lenore: and trying to knock him off his path by
Lenore: sowing self doubt you know. Who are you? Do you think you can
Lenore: teach this stuff about awakening? And the Buddha just touches the ground to say
Lenore: I've done it. and that's what. So
Lenore: for me, the practice of touching the ground is just reminding yourself of the facts.
Lenore: It's a little yeah. When so when self doubt comes comes by. Just line up the the evidence and and look at it.
Lenore: And so I just did it. There's lots of reasons for me to feel confident. But then I thought to myself.
Lenore: That's actually not okay. You know he's an experienced hurdles coach.
Lenore: and I've got lots of reasons to touch the ground, and you know I'm being world champion in the long hurdles, being world champion in the short hurdles. In fact, I've never been beaten by another Australian ever in a hurdles race short or long.
Lenore: I hold Australian records. My coach is is the guy who coached. The the guy who holds the the like open
Lenore: sprint hurdles world record. Guy named Aires merit. His coach is my coach. I think he knows what he's doing.
Lenore: so I had all these sort of, you know.
Lenore: bits of evidence that I could just line up and go.
Lenore: I don't need to listen to that, you know, but
Lenore: that's pretty rare. And you know, young athletes who are still developing there
Lenore: confidence.
Lenore: And it's a tough sport. Athletics, you know. It's you on that line. It's really clear whether you succeed or whether you fail. It's a fantastic developmental sport for young people.
Lenore: And if he were to say that kind of thing to a young person who didn't have all that evidence to be able to line up and go. I'm not listening to this old grump.
Lenore: That could be really damaging.
Lenore: And I'm a coach, too, and I know that there are, you know, professional standards with coaches. You're not supposed to do things like that, that, you know, can potentially
Lenore: damage or hurt.
Lenore: And so I thought, and plus, he's just a bully. And I think, you know.
Lenore: that's not okay to have him out there thinking it's okay to to speak to people like that.
Lenore: So I decided I'd
Lenore: I talked to him about it, and I put quite a bit of thought into how I was going to do it. some of you might be familiar with Nvc. Nonviolent communication.
Lenore: and one of the one of the little tactics in that is, when you're about to have a
Lenore: potentially difficult conversation with someone.
Lenore: don't have a harsh startup.
Lenore: you know. Pay attention to the startup to the conversation. Make that
Lenore: friendly.
Lenore: imbued with a sense of goodwill. You know. What have you? So I mentally rehearsed it
Lenore: so that it was going to be a credible intention in, in, so that it would carry me through, tried to develop that internal condition of having a credible intention. I imagined. What will I say to him when I see him
Lenore: I made a decision. I'll wait until I can get him on his own, so that he's not in front of his group because he's the kind of guy his his identity, his selfing is around being in charge and being the expert and always being right. And what have you? So I figured it's you know. It's only going to make it harder
Lenore: for him to respond. Well, if I speak to him in front of his group. So I thought, right. I'll get him on his own
Lenore: and so it took me a couple more times of seeing him before I had the chance to get him on his own. But II did, and I walked off and said, John can have a word.
Lenore: He kind of looked at me and go. Do yeah
Lenore: and I said
Lenore: the other day, when I asked you to turn the music off, I said,
Lenore: I didn't. I really didn't want to ask you to do that, I said II was actually really enjoying your music, which I was. It's half the problem.
Lenore: I said, you know, it's just that it it was really distracting.
Lenore: And
Lenore: and he goes, yeah, right?
Lenore: And I'm like.
Lenore: No, it was. It was distracting, like I had to abort one of my runs to hurdle one
Lenore: because I mucked it up, and I never do that.
Lenore: Yeah. Well, what about that that group over there. They play music.
Lenore: and I'm like what group?
Lenore: And he was pointing to a squad that trains right over the other side of the track, and I'm like, Well, I can't hear that music, John.
Lenore: Oh, well, what about when you're at races, and you know, and there's people everywhere, and they're all talking, and you know, how do you not get distracted with that? So you know this, you get the idea?
Lenore: So he was. He. He was defensive. And then he went on a counterattack and tried to tell me that once I'd told I'd told one of his athletes what to do.
Lenore: and I'm like, Oh, did I?
Lenore: When did? When did I do that? Oh, I was a couple of years ago. He says, right, okay.
Lenore: anyway, John, the point is. it was just really distracting, and it was unhelpful for you to say those things that you said to me in the middle of my session. No, it wasn't
Lenore: says, anyway, so it didn't. It didn't go. Well, all right, it didn't. I didn't get the outcome that I wanted.
Lenore: But then, as and then, as he. So he finished his sort of counterattack, and then he goes, all right. Well, I just might talk to you anymore. And then he just turned around, and
Lenore: one of his athletes was walking past, and he just turned around and walked off a few paces away.
Lenore: And I didn't. I just stood there, and I just looked at him.
Lenore: and he just sort of started chatting with this athlete. And then I just said to him. You can be really rude sometimes, John. think it's yeah, no.
Lenore: And I thought, Oh, okay.
Lenore: I tried.
Lenore: So I walked off anyway, and in the end I had a plan. B with him I actually spoke to, because we're part of the same club. I spoke to the the president of our club, and I just said, You know, I just want you to know this is what happened.
Lenore: I'll leave it with you. But
Lenore: you know my question to you is, is this okay from a club coach.
Lenore: you know, if he were to behave that way towards
Lenore: a younger athlete or a less confident person, or what have you, anyway? The club present ended up, having an hour-long conversation with him.
Lenore: so I didn't get the outcome I wanted in the moment.
Lenore: But again I'm glad I did it
Lenore: because
Lenore: a. It was me practicing, you know. It was me building the fitness of my own courage muscle again.
Lenore: and B. I think you'll think twice next time.
Lenore: Bullies. Usually
Lenore: they keep going because they get away with it. They keep going because nobody stands up to them.
Lenore: And so there's been a consequence of his actions, and hopefully that will minimize the chances that he is destructive towards anybody else in the future.
Lenore: So whether or not you know, the outcome is what
Lenore: I wanted, or the practicing of courage is I. So I still believe.
Lenore: a really important part of engaging ethically with our world. And this is obviously a crisis. You know, Mini crisis in my own little inner circle of that 3 concentric circles.
Lenore: But it was it was a challenge, nevertheless.
Lenore: So
Lenore: I want to
Lenore: offer you an activity now. And
Lenore: perhaps I'll just give you a you know, couple of minutes. If you want to stand up, move around
Lenore: last night there was someone not feeling well.
Lenore: somebody
Lenore: so tired they were nearly falling off the chair. So if you'd like to just take a minute or 2.
Lenore: Okay, did you get the writing down of the scenario bit or none of it?
Lenore: Okay.
Lenore: okay, so the instructions were to
rena czaplinska-archer: write down just a phrase to represent
Lenore: the situation where you had an opportunity to engage
Lenore: with the world
Lenore: in some way that could be beneficial, and there was pot. Some harm being done.
Lenore: You could have said or done something, but you didn't.
Lenore: so I'm just repeating it. So I'm just repeating this for the recording.
Lenore: and you're not 100% sure whether that was the right thing to do or not. So that's situation one.
Lenore: And we want you to just write a phrase to represent that, so that we've got that.
Lenore: Then the next step was to describe the benefit that would have been possible if you had practice courage in that situation
sick.
rena czaplinska-archer: and then where we're up to, just to catch up
Lenore: up to where we were is the third
Lenore: instruction is to write down the setting of the incident. So set the context where you were. Who else was there? What was happening around you?
Lenore: How are you feeling at the time
Lenore: just prior to the incident. So setting the scene
Lenore: so once you've described the setting. then recall in as much detail as you can, the incident itself. So just the facts. What happened? Who said or did? What? What did you do?
Lenore: And just recall as much of that as you can?
Lenore: Just factually.
Lenore: Okay. So once you've got the incident described.
Lenore: now bring to mind why it was in the moment you decided not to do anything. And let's focus first on feelings. So if you can remember what feelings
Lenore: a rose
Lenore: that prevented you from doing what you think, perhaps you might have been better doing.
Lenore: And then, when you've got the feelings listed, what mind activity
Lenore: was driving that
Lenore: so what thoughts or other mind activity arose that contributed to those feelings arising so there might have been mental movies playing out like when I imagined going over to speak to the big group of sweaty men.
Lenore: Might have been some kind of narrative. There might have been something you were
Lenore: that voice in your head that we were talking about earlier in the day might have been something going on there, stories being told
Lenore: what went through your mind.
Lenore: Okay.
Lenore: now, we're just going to jump over to the other scenario, the scenario where you did act where you did practice courage
Lenore: and just quickly do the same thing in terms of describing it. So.
Lenore: setting
Lenore: where you were, who you were, with
Lenore: what was going on, how you were feeling prior to that incident.
Lenore: We'll call this incident situation, too.
Lenore: And so then just the facts. What happened? Who said or did, what
Lenore: what did you do or not do?
Lenore: And then again, what feelings were present in that moment where you chose to act.
Lenore: and then probably connected to that. What mind activity was going on.
Lenore: what mind activity
Lenore: was going on when you decided to act
Lenore: thoughts, things you said to yourself. mental movies
Lenore: playing your internal cinema
Lenore: that led you to practice courage in that moment.
Lenore: and when you finish describing that.
Lenore: have a look at both those
Lenore: situations from what went on as you've described them.
Lenore: and ponder what led to the difference
Lenore: in the decision to practice courage versus, not practice courage.
Lenore: What was it about? Scenario? One
Lenore: that meant you chose to not exercise your courage muscle.
Lenore: And in scenario 2, you did
Lenore: so. I'm going to suggest that we just hop into pairs and
Lenore: discuss the output of your reflections on this. What it tells you about your current practice of courage.
Lenore: what helped
Lenore: what doesn't help?
Lenore: If
Lenore: you you might want to reflect on whether you you have strong use courage practices at the moment. Yeah, there is. Would you like to amp it up?
Lenore: If so, what would that take?
Lenore: And then I want what I want to do once you've had a chance to discuss that in pairs is just come back to the group and share insights and
Lenore: ideas and the things that help
Lenore: the things that help us make that decision.
Lenore: to exercise our courage muscle
Lenore: when we have the chance to do that.
Lenore: So can I suggest you just pair up with somebody who sits near you
Lenore: or not? If there's nobody near you.
Yes.
Lenore: let's see 10 past 8.
Lenore: 15 min. Yeah.
Hall (Alan - Host): Hi, everybody at home. We'll soon send you a chance to be in groups of 2, and we'll see how we go, Meghan Herklain, at home you can form your own groups at home, and everybody else will be in groups of 2. You'll have 15 min, and as the timer has been set for that. Okay, let's see how you go.
Wow!
Hall (Alan - Host): Well, they all went.
Lenore: So I'd love to hear your insights and to pool. Any
Lenore: ideas about what helps
Lenore: flexing our courage. Muscle.
Lenore: What did you notice?
Lenore: Yeah, Carol?
Hello.
Lenore: do we need a microphone, Gus?
No.
Lenore: sorry. It's me again. There we go. One of the things that helps courage. We both decided was having an ally.
Lenore: So that makes it really easier to have somebody with you. And so that made a huge difference.
Lenore: and the thing that made courage difficult was fearing what the consequences are going to be interesting. Did you find that the fear was right sized at the time.
Lenore: or was it? Did the fear sort of
Lenore: Was it
Lenore: bigger than the reality? Was there any sense of that. Oh, look! I think for me it was for me it was a very long standing. Thing that had been
Lenore: evolving over over time. And it was about it's about a failure to deal with conflict in A in a long like. Basically, you got 2 people in a in a long, long, existing working relationship, both of whom are conflict. Averse
Lenore: recipe for disaster. Lots of stuff bubbling away. Then, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So so yeah.
Lenore: But the fear, I think the fear, the fear.
Lenore: I think, that the consequences of not dealing with the issues
Lenore: were far greater than I think you know. Had they'd be, you know, it was really terrible. It was like a divorce. It was awful, whereas and it's taken 17 years to repair. So there you go. So
Lenore: I think probably you know, I learned learned learned a lot from that. Yeah, yeah, I still conflict of us. But I think probably probably manage it a bit better.
Lenore: One of the topics I used to teach in my leadership program was conflict res and
Lenore: I started by getting the group to just discuss
Lenore: a proposition, and the proposition was.
Lenore: conflict never has a neutral effect.
Lenore: So, choosing to not and get being aversive, being avoidance
Lenore: still has an impact you've just described, it builds and it builds. And it builds.
Lenore: So yeah, whatever, if if there's a conflict there, there's there's there's going to be an outcome. There's going to be an impact. It's about deciding what kind you'd like
Lenore: avoiding. It doesn't mean there's no impact. Yeah.
Lenore: yeah, interesting. So an ally and fear of consequences. Yep.
Lenore: So Luby and I both agreed that it was pretty on the spot to know that we were sharing this with someone so props to everyone for actually speaking to someone else about when they weren't courageous. I think that's quite courageous in and of itself it is so you can put that on your list.
Lenore: for me. I wanted to also echo the feeling of support. I think that
Lenore: having someone.
Lenore: either whether it's a community or a member like a trusted person who you've seen it, who's seen done it before and have some kind of
Lenore: expertise is for me the difference maker. There are times when
Lenore: I feel like
Lenore: I'm on an island by myself, and that's very difficult for me to exercise courage. And then, if I'm in a supportive community of people with didn't have to have to agree all the time, but at least kind of pushing the rock up in the same direction. That's when I feel correct my courage has its own momentum, so I'm not sure if that's an excuse for acting poorly, or like within my own comfort zone, or like being lazy. But for me, looking at my answers, that was just like instant. That's what came out so
Lenore: and does do those allies, those friends, those companions. Do. They have to be there at the time of the incident? Or it's just you have to have them in your life. I think in my life. I'm quite happy to speak my mind per se, but
Lenore: I think to have someone to debrief with
Lenore: someone who might even challenge you a little bit, but kind of feel like you've got someone in your corner that for me feels very important.
Lenore: Yep.
Lenore: something. And as we hear these, these are all. You know, little tactics that we can learn from each other.
Lenore: Libby, did you have something to add or not?
Lenore: Well.
Lenore: in a situation where I failed? It was just she accounts. Really. I was afraid of you know, sort of peer pressure being outnumbered. So
Lenore: that was that one. And in the situation when I was was brave. It was probably just sheer desperation that if I didn't do something that's going to go completely bonkers, right? Yeah, right? So there's a consequent anticipated consequence of not
Lenore: acting, and that was too unacceptable. Yes, yeah. The one where you said you were worried you'd be outvoted
Lenore: was so is that a fear of exclusion or judgment, or what was what was yeah, I think it will. I was just in in a car, and I wanted the car to stop to. You know. Help an animal. We just knocked with the car.
Lenore: and I was outvoted, and it's sort of hard to kind of insist when you're not behind the wheel yourself. Well, that's what I found. I mean, I yeah, I feel as though I should have done something more. But
Lenore: yeah, at the time I didn't. Yeah.
Lenore: So what was did you imagine saying more? Trying to do more? And then there was sort of fear around what might happen.
Lenore: Yes, yeah. Fear of exclusion. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Lenore: Hmm. okay. Thanks.
Lenore: One thing that came up for us was like, there were a couple of examples of like being in that like a moment of shock and almost a flat fly top scenario.
Lenore: and wishing
Lenore: we or one of us had the can. You know the sort of
Lenore: the poise to be able to sort of respond appropriately in that moment, instead of
Lenore: whatever it might be. Response. But then I think one of the other things that came up is having the time to process and respond and think through what I want to say, rather, you know, we've seen that. I think everyone's gravitated. Many people have gravitated towards these
Lenore: areas of conflict, perhaps, and the other thing I wanted to
Lenore: question or raise was like the role of emotion like I had a had a experience of just being so, he hitting a snapping point with someone.
Lenore: and then
Lenore: being quite courageous in a way.
Lenore: but it was driven somewhat by
Lenore: anger. And you know, wonder how you know.
Lenore: I wonder, about the reactivity of that or the
Lenore: I felt like, I responded quite clearly, but
Lenore: it was! It was only, I think, the courage to do. It was only made possible by a certain sense of desperation or certain sense of anger, a certain sense of frustration.
Lenore: Anyway, that's one. So is there a concern there that the response or reaction that you had was
Lenore: somehow damaging. Or yeah, I mean, I think you know.
Lenore: And some level, we're just animals. We can be, anyway.
Lenore: If you take that to the extreme, you know, like responding. You know that in the fight type
Lenore: scenario, and I've had those experiences, too, where I've just snapped on someone.
Lenore: sorry. But
Lenore: I wonder where the you know where the the middle background is? There where the middle way is there? Because I don't think that's healthy. I don't like to be hijacked by an emotional anger or something like that, but
Lenore: but it can play a positive role, I think in speaking one's truth.
Lenore: finding the courage to speak so when you say the snap, the snap factor was that something that had built up this is, that's a different scenario. But yeah, I guess
Lenore: in in my case, like it was a. It was an employer that had been
Lenore: a bit toxic for a long time.
Lenore: and I eventually called him out, and it had bad consequences for me. And then I
Lenore: then I write a really strong word letter to them
Lenore: to the management, let's say.
Lenore: and I so you know I'm proud of my behaviour in that scenario. But But it wouldn't have happened if I didn't get angry enough, I don't think.
Lenore: but also, I think like maybe I shouldn't let it get so bad as well, you know.
Lenore: Act sooner. Yeah. yep.
Lenore: My experience is, if you if you act sooner, it doesn't snowball. So you've got a bit more
Lenore: presence, a little less reactivity. Yeah, to deal with it while it's
Lenore: this high rather than
Lenore: waiting till it gets this high.
Yeah.
Lenore: Yeah. So acting sooner. There, there was a theory about Can't even remember whose it was, but they talked about pinches and crunches. So you know. little situation that just keeps
Lenore: pinching, keeps pinching, keeps pinching like the one that builds up over time, and maybe there's never a
Lenore: a big crunch. But if I don't
Lenore: speak up or do what I need to do with the pinches, they eventually become a crunch
Lenore: dealing with the pinches, maybe would be a potential tactic.
Lenore: Hi, I'm Olive, by the way, I haven't spoken yet, so
Lenore: resonates quite a bit with people who have spoken before. So the timing for me is a very important factor between acting and not acting. So I'm not very good on acting on the spot. So I need a little bit of time to process
Lenore: and say whether.
Lenore: according to my values, I need to take this step.
Lenore: though, when it's too much time. It's extremely energy consuming. So it needs to be action. Honest as soon as it's possible. Once I've done that mental process, that yes, action is needed. I need this conversation, or whatever not, I need to action it as soon as possible. So in terms of feelings and emotions. So soon I have discussed
Lenore: the feelings and emotion associated with acting, and the feeling and emotion associated with not acting exactly the same fear and anxiety. So you might as well take in action and enjoy the benefits of actually getting it.
Lenore: I don't want to say getting it right, but getting what you feel like you need to get out of that situation, and you know, if necessary, even come back to it
Lenore: so, and and also yes. keep training that courage muscles. So I was in a situation when I failed to act.
Lenore: and I was feeling terrible down the track. I couldn't come back to it next time, when something similar happened to me. I brought it back, and I said, No.
Lenore: drag yourself back to that situation. Accident, otherwise it will be with you, for
Lenore: God knows how long. Yeah, right? Yeah, right?
Lenore: So do they have anything. I think that's a beautiful insight that you know the feelings are often the same, you know you still going through that anxiety and fear. What do I do next? Yeah, nice. Thank you. Thank you.
Lenore: My first situation was
Lenore: walking on a street in Miami.
Lenore: I'm pretty sure it was Miami, and it was a hot, very hot day.
Lenore: and a homeless person
Lenore: got hit by a car right in front of me.
Lenore: not seriously, but enough to knock him down right.
Lenore: And
Lenore: there's all grades of homeless.
Lenore: and he was the bottom grade of holos. He was so dirty.
Lenore: I mean. He was just dirty, and nobody was willing to go
Lenore: remove him from that hot pavement, which he was very, very uncomfortable with.
Lenore: and I go back and forth. I never have forgotten that, because it gave me
Lenore: a lot of guilt about not stepping forward.
Lenore: and and I can go back and justify the fact that my blind wife was on my arm. What was I gonna do with her
Lenore: right? Just couldn't leave her standing there.
Lenore: and the fact that I don't think I did a quarter of a block when the policeman came walking down the sidewalk, and I said to him, Are you here for the guy that just got hit.
Lenore: and he said no, as he said where he went down the street
right
Lenore: just went charging down the street to it. But I've never forgot that sense of guilt, and I keep it around.
Lenore: Does that motivate you, too? Yes, and and there was
Lenore: the second part was
Lenore: and they're really different circumstances. But
Lenore: one of I had just passed, the car was just working just right as I passed the car, a kid on a bike or a motor scooter. Motor scooter
Lenore: ran into the back of the car in front of it.
Lenore: I mean hard, really hard.
Lenore: and he ended up, sprawled on the street, and I stopped immediately. The kid was clean. Okay.
Lenore: I stopped immediately, got the ambulance to come and called his mom, and off he goes. Okay.
Lenore: but it doesn't. It's it's it's
Lenore: it was a decision to stop instead of drive on.
Good.
Lenore: But the second incident was
Lenore: again in my in Florida.
Lenore: and I was walking on the dock
Lenore: when the tall boat race was going on around the world. Tall but boat boat race in Miami was one of their stops.
Lenore: and these are 80 feet high, mass, big big boats.
Lenore: and if you know anything about boats. there's 4 lines that hold the boat to the dock, not 2, but 4
Lenore: and as I'm walking by the cleat.
Lenore: I happened to look up, and and they had boats were all charging out. The testosterone was flowing. Okay, and boats were just charging out of Harvard, and I happened to look up, and I can see that they did not, had not cleared one of the lines and was still attached to the boat.
Lenore: and it was dipping into the water, and it was starting to come out.
Lenore: and I was able to grab, hold the line and pull it off the top of the clique.
Lenore: and no sooner I get off the top of the cleat it goes, you know. Off it goes to the boat.
Lenore: and I looked up. and the guy that was responsible for that line was on the
Lenore: stern on his knees, bowing.
Lenore: Okay.
the.
Lenore: But that was just total reflex. Okay, there was nothing else but reflex going on. There was no thought about
Lenore: fear or anything. I just knew that if I didn't do that a lot of people were gonna get hurt.
Lenore: and it was down and up within seconds.
Lenore: Interesting.
Lenore: pretty rare. We have those moments, isn't it? Where the decision
Lenore: has to be right now? Yeah.
Lenore: yeah.
Lenore: But there was no, there's no there was no alleviation of the guilt. It was just like the other one had
Lenore: a connection to yeah, to acting
Lenore: based on what had happened in the fifth and not the second one. Yeah, but still
Lenore: I could have backed up instead of
Lenore: reaching down. and I suspect the cumulative act of exercising our courage. Muscle
Lenore: would make us more likely to act in that moment than and less.
Lenore: Yeah. thanks, Tim.
Lenore: For me. The the case of not acting
Lenore: was really one of
Lenore: not framing the situation as one in which I ought to act, or it was my role to act.
Lenore: and there were reasons for that.
Lenore: but it it was very clear to me as things evolved, that in fact, I should have been there, I should have been doing something. and it felt like a lack of moral imagination
Lenore: and great sense of shame.
Lenore: so I can fully understand why it was that it didn't occur to me that I should be doing something.
Lenore: but
Lenore: I should. and it doesn't. You don't get let off the hook.
Lenore: Hmm!
Lenore: I wonder if shame has a purpose?
Lenore: Well, it does. It does
Lenore: but it rather over. You usually get overkill from Shane. Sticks around for a long time.
Lenore: Yeah. thanks, Galen.
Lenore: Pick up on some different sort of line of insights rather than repeat some of the things that are being said. But
Lenore: we talked about sometimes being courageous is actually not acting.
Yep.
Lenore: And
Lenore: some of the elements of that is sort of
Lenore: hitting that pause button between the stimulus and response.
Lenore: Then thinking through, okay, how catastrophic are the. It's like doing a risk assessment, you know. Is it going to be a catastrophic outcome if you don't act
Lenore: in a certain way right now. or
Lenore: taking this afternoon's presentation talking about, you know, strategy and
Lenore: and tactics. What I call things practical sometimes hope not
Lenore: acting in every situation because you're playing a longer game.
Lenore: and you've got to hold. Your nerve is more more important
Lenore: in personal conflict situations where you might want to intervene. It might be that in acting you might be unintentionally taking away the agency and the dignity of the person
Lenore: to actually resolve it without coming to their rescue.
Lenore: staying with the risk assessment. If the criticality is such that it's that it's life and death matter.
Lenore: Then you have a civic and loving duty to do that, particularly if your
Lenore: I'm so trained to do that.
Lenore: One of my earlier qualifications was was in
Lenore: paramedic, and I remember the lesson that was drummed into me. Never be the cause to have to send another ambulance cause. You're dealing with courageous situations all the time. So you know, you get to a scene of horrific motor vehicle accident don't run your trip over. Because and if you and if you do run, you might miss out the fact that the power lines are down, this petrol spilling out, and a bystanders lighting up a cigarette. You know that sort of stuff.
Lenore: So I think it's the constantly having the mindfulness to go through a risk assessment.
Lenore: And I know that sounds a bit sort of corporate and pedestrian, but I think in certain scenarios it's it's worthwhile to be thinking about
Lenore: what what are the consequences, and then, therefore, sometimes an insight is
Lenore: not not doing anything is the most courageous thing to do.
Lenore: And they yeah.
Lenore: I just sort of wanted to add to that
Lenore: I think, in deciding whether to act in a courageous way. You also have to really think about what is the most kind thing to do to yourself for yourself, and there might be some situations I could imagine where somebody
Lenore: I'm I'm just being a bit abstract here, but you know where past experience, or past fears, or things which might trigger a whole lot of really negative
Lenore: traumatic responses might interfere with an individual's ability to to act or to call out something, and I think it's not not being courageous to
Lenore: to do that in that situation. I think it's actually looking after yourself, and knowing that you could do yourself more harm by injecting yourself a little bit like John was saying, with the not becoming another, not needing another ambulance, you know, it's about really thinking. Well, have I got the capacity to to do this? Is it?
Lenore: And
Lenore: you know, is it worth it? And and there's some situations, I think, where you could
Lenore: say that
Lenore: if the likelihood of you achieving a if the likelihood of one achieving a positive outcome is low, but the cost to you is a likely, quite detrimental effect. Then I think.
Lenore: being courageous is caring for yourself.
Lenore: Hmm. Yep. totally agree. One of the things I love about the demo is that
Lenore: we are as deserving of compassion as any other being.
Lenore: And yes.
Lenore: Tessa, again, I I really find that a tricky balance and something that I'm
Lenore: really working on at the moment, and I bet a lot of people here would have advice for me. But I, you know I feel a lot of shame when I choose not to act, and I have an opportunity to, and
Lenore: just given the nature of life and the world. There are constant opportunities to
Lenore: be courageous and act. But I yes, I guess I don't know how to
Lenore: how to decide like what is is worth it like, flog myself for it, because it is just really, really frigging important. And just.
Lenore: You know, we did that a bit in the in that last election as well kind of drove myself into the ground because I was like fuck it. This election might be life or death, so I'm just going to go for it.
Lenore: But then, other times I'm like, I'm not sure. When, when, when is it worth flogging myself for it, and when not, and more and more these days, I'm like less willing to kind of. Really.
Lenore: I'm using this word flog myself, which is really like Whoa! Where's this come from? A bit to really, I guess. Burn myself out over my cares. And
Lenore: You know someone. I've no idea who it was, but there was a teacher once who was saying to me, You know, if it's not working for you, like, if you're not okay, then it's not working.
Lenore: And I? Yeah.
Lenore: not sure how to do that
Lenore: yet.
Lenore: It's it's an interesting one, isn't it, Tessa? Because, you know, there.
Lenore: in in one imagining of this, we can. We can go hole? It doesn't. It's feeling a bit uncomfortable. So that's not okay for me.
Lenore: you know that, and and let ourselves off the hook a little bit too easily.
Lenore: because you know it just it feels uncomfortable. And then, on the other side of it, you've got that.
Lenore: Oh, well, I've got to do it. And you know it's it's
Lenore: has to be done over there for flogging of oneself. and and my sense like I think this has come out a number of times over the week already. Is that
Lenore: Each situation has to be
Lenore: taken with its context and its variables that are unique.
Lenore: and I guess my
Lenore: way of approaching that kind of thing. II do sometimes challenged my said to what was it Kristen? Last night, you know, sometimes kick myself in the bum. What I mean by that is, I do sometimes challenge myself if I think it's just
Lenore: if I'm just kind of erring on the side of not acting, because it's a bit uncomfortable. and it's important.
Lenore: Then, you know, I might
Lenore: spur myself into action regardless.
Lenore: But it's always this constant sort of judgment about well, how important is the outcome!
Lenore: How likely is the outcome? How? Texting! Is it really for me?
Lenore: And taking it in
Lenore: taking all of those things into account in the moment. And to me again, this is this thing about ethics rather than morals, you know every situation
Lenore: presents itself with its own unique set of circumstances. If something's not time critical, you just said you didn't. What one suggestion might be to consider
Lenore: adopting the methodologies to do with the art of discernment.
Lenore: laying laying things out, involving trusted friends with the options that you're considering, and then you might end up with a couple of best options to act or not to act.
Lenore: And then it's then discerning which is the best one of those fits. So there's actually a technique that that can be helpful
Lenore: providers, not something that
Lenore: you've got to respond to in the next 5 min.
Yeah.
Lenore: yeah, thank you. I think as you spoke, I think the issue is more often for me, just burnout actually is probably what's going on. Yeah.
Lenore: I think that's really important is is being aware of that line of
Lenore: overwhelm of burnout, of if I continue.
Lenore: I'm gonna
Lenore: it's not sustainable. That's the thing
Lenore: I'm going to talk about that in a couple of days of how do we, you know, fill our own bucket
Lenore: to make sure that we're able to keep contributing but I definitely think maintaining an awareness of
Lenore: when our tank is empty and then
Lenore: deciding, okay, yeah, the world has to cope without me. Today, I need. I need to refill. My own tank
Lenore: is is incredibly important.
Lenore: Hmm.
Lenore: just another thought on that decision of how much you've got to give or when to act. In the context of courage. I think it's really important to think about what your pre-existing responsibilities are, too, and what would suffer if you actually
Lenore: weren't able to attend to the responsibilities that you've already taken on so. But you know, by taking on something larger, which would then mean you couldn't fulfill whatever it is you're doing.
Lenore: which is important to other people in the present, I think I think that's an important thing to consider. So the overall consequences not just the consequences for the thing I'm thinking about doing the courage I'm thinking about practicing. But if I practice that, what are the other impacts in life? And sometimes our responsibilities don't seem
Lenore: because we're used to them, or we know them, or they're a lesser intensity of courage required, although probably, nevertheless, constant courage. But we may
Lenore: downgrade them because they're not big and exciting, you know.
Lenore: the slower, the slower processes that nevertheless need tending to rather than the I don't know the
Lenore: the the big dramatic thing to achieve. Yeah.
Lenore: which then becomes extra complicated, doesn't it? When you've got a climate emergency?
Lenore: And yeah, but yeah, I'm sort of thinking about that myself. Yeah, if we were to think we have 6 years to turn this around or we're stuffed.
Lenore: what should I do? Hmm.
Lenore: just briefly, I think one of the really difficult arts is to learn to listen to yourself.
Lenore: can spend an awful lot of time working out the pros and cons and the costs and the other things, and all the things I have to do, what I find, and I don't think I am alone in this. That's all done. Being able just to listen to myself to what my body says.
Lenore: Yes, no, black, white up, down. and then you better follow it
Lenore: if you trust it.
Lenore: Yes, unless sometimes the body can say, Run away, run away, you know, when you want to run away. Yeah.
Lenore: This one raising a foot over there.
Lenore: No, they were. They were raising a foot in the air. I thought they were just one thing I found helpful. We were talking before about the golden mean that you know the the right course of action is between 2 extremes, and so the extremes of
Lenore: courage. One on on the lacking side is cowardice, but on the overkill side is full hardiness. And so I think those are useful concepts to bear in mind. So that that's from Aristotle. The golden mean of courage you've got full, you know. If if you're if you're doing something that's really stupid and rash, that's full hardiness, it is stu it says.
Lenore: not effective as cowardice is. So I've found that useful. That idea. Yep.
Lenore: I think we're done for the evening.
Lenore: Thanks, guys. I hope there was some sort of shared
Lenore: learning and ideas. There.
Lenore: I think. Yeah.
Lenore: flexia, courage, muscle.
Lenore: Oh, I did have one little tactic. This is a really small thing, but a really helpful thing. That I was going to share with you.
Lenore: psychologists call it. It's a tactic for
Lenore: lowering your anxiety in the moment
Lenore: that I think is really relevant for practicing courage. It's called the physiological sigh.
Lenore: And it's really simple. It's you. Just you breathe in. You do this twice. You just breathe in
Lenore: really slow out breath.
Lenore: So
Lenore: in-breath
Lenore: stimulates the sympathetic nervous system, outbreaks.
Lenore: stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system
Lenore: whole really interesting science behind this but that slow out breath actually lowers the anxiety level, which is why singing makes you feel calm, too.
Lenore: Whistling. Yeah, because they're a slow outbreak. I thought I'd just leave you with that little
Lenore: picking your courage. Practice armory.
Lenore: Okay?
Lenore: I think there's any messages or anything for tomorrow. So sleep well.
Lenore: Meditation. Oh, we're gonna meditate. Sorry.